When the Masks Fall: A Journey Toward Self-Acceptance

By Astrid Pizarro, LMSW | June 9, 2025

Discovering the Difference

As I grew into my adolescent years and began to develop an understanding of myself and the world around me, I gained an awareness that made me feel uneasy. There was a prominent difference between me, my family, and what I understood the world to be. However, I made the decision to suppress that feeling and try my best to assimilate. I found a friend group, lived the “typical” high school experience, and went off to college to obtain my Master’s degree. Even after all those accomplishments, the feeling didn’t go away. It grew stronger, and my self-esteem weakened. This is when the masks began to fall.

Learning the Language of My Brain

At the time I felt I needed it most, I was introduced to the term Neurodivergent, and suddenly, the puzzles in my psychological world began to fall seamlessly into place. For the first time in my life, I felt the warmth of being understood. I spent hours absorbing all the information I could about what it means to be neurodivergent and discovered the meaning of masking. Masking is being in a state of hypervigilance, constantly adapting to a neurotypical society, and suppressing the expression of your authentic self. The feeling I’d carried for so long finally had a name. In my case, I used masking as a form of protection from rejection and from losing my sense of belonging.

Grief and Growth

My excitement grew as I continued to learn more, simultaneously, grief began to creep in as I reflected on the many moments my neurodivergence made me feel alone. The days I perceived myself as lazy because I was struggling with my executive functioning. The days I struggled to connect with my peers and their patterns of thinking. And the days I felt exhausted trying to measure up to societal expectations of how I should behave and how productive I should be. These were the days I was masking. The constant masking led to an increase in my depression and anxiety because I never felt connected to others or myself.

Unmasking Through Self-Acceptance and Therapy

Now that the masks have fallen, with the help of therapy, I was able to explore the parts of me I hid and deprived of compassion. I was able to find tools and skills that supported my way of thinking rather than shame my way into productivity. I was finally able to see myself through a lens of acceptance and affirmation.

Offering the Same Space to Others

It is in spaces where we are able to expose ourselves to authenticity without the fear of judgment that we heal. The same space that was created for me, I want to offer to anyone else who may be struggling with understanding themselves, and get an opportunity to see what the power of acceptance can do for you.